Shut up and Listen, Will Ya?

(I wrote most of this last night but since I feel like shit-coughing and a throat so sore I could hardly swallow-I did 2 alka seltzer cold shots and then melted into oblivion--only to wake right up at 2 am...blah)

So, today I get to work and find that what our customers think of us now affects how much money I get in my commission. WTF?! And apprently I pissed a couple of them off. Let me just tell you this, Mr & Mrs Customer-If you read the Customer Service rules, you wouldn't have a need to even call. And--if you would just shut up, I really wouldn't have to interrupt you. I do not work at Burger King-you can't have it your way. The Customer isn't always right these days. Deal with it. As we hear so often these days (and I've been hearing and saying it since at least 2000 when it was told to me by a really great manager) *It is what it is* And if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Be sure to read *all* of the print on an ad before calling me. It's not your job, you say? Yeeeeeah it is....you are a consumer...buyer beware and all that crap. Is a mad customer going to stay mad through an entire call? Not necessarily. I had one lady screaming at me because something in her service wasn't working and was pissed off because she wanted credit for something that she isn't charged for (kind of like someone asking for credit for a sesame seed on the bun of their burger-everyone gets them...we can't remove it) *Until* I pushed a little button, she restarted her equipment and then everything worked the way it was supposed to (yah know I'm trying to give you as few details as possible about where I'm working--don't worry, when -yeah okay, *if*- I ever get fired, you will see it spilled all over this blog!) Then the Wicked Witch of the West turned into...well, let's just say she meeeeellllllttttted. Became this fawning, more annoying lady who couldn't tell me how happy she was with me and the service and everything. Pick a personality, lady!

Sometimes I wish I could lie better. When giving my extension, I miss a number or give one of the numbers wrong but you know what? I can't. It's just not in my nature. I usually don't like giving it out because it gives that person the idea that we are their personal account representatives. Now, there are times when it's an issue that I know I can fix...and no one else has taken the time to. *Then* yes, I'll give it to you...but better to wait for me to call you so that I know my part is done. I did help this one kid (under 30) and gave him my extension. After that...I shit you not...he called me every freakin' week to ask questions. Not to buy any additional services but just to ask stupidass questions.

Let me not forget those older people that are pissed off that they have to push 1 for English when they call or that some of the services they receive may contain some Spanish...stuff. They tell me "But this is America"...yep, it is...America, the Melting Pot. "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free". We ask them to come over and then whine when they don't assimilate to our culture? I'm one of those who feels if you don't like it here, leave. See how much you're going to be loved in other countries. People say you should respect the President--you can respect someone without blindingly believing everything they say and following their every command. I can love people who work for a company but not respect the lunkhead who runs it.

Okay, I've gone off on some wild tangent that probably has to do with the meds so I'm just gonna stop here. All of that work stuff has gone to my brain which is hurting from being so freakin nice to people today. I think it's a stress issue....being so nice is just too stressful for me...yup, that's the ticket...

Adios, Y'all...I am outtie like a bellybutton!