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    Friday, December 14, 2007

    Friendship and Chocolate

    True Friendship"

    (With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)

    Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems
    that always sound good, but never actually come
    close to reality?

    Well, here is a series of promises that actually
    speak of true friendship.
    You will see no cutesy little smiley faces here,
    just the stone cold truth of our friendship.

    1. When you are sad --
    I will help you get drunk
    and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.

    2. When you are blue --
    I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

    3. When you smile --
    I will know you finally got laid.

    4. When you are scared --
    I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

    5. When you are worried --
    I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

    6. When you are confused --
    I will use little words.

    7. When you are sick --
    Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.

    8. When you fall --
    I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

    9. This is my oath.....
    I pledge it to the end. Why?" you may ask ?,
    "Because you are my friend".

    Friendship is like peeing your pants:
    everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

    Yeah, it came from one of those evil...."pass this on or you shall die a thousand deaths and if you do pass it on to as many people as you can annoy in as short of time as possible, you will be rewarded with so much money it will be coming out of your ears" but I couldn't resist. I love it so much I feel like stitching it on a pillow ;)

    So, I send it out to Vic, Sam & sinned aka peligroso and to those who read and are interested in being my friend...it goes both ways.

    We hereby interrupt this blog for a commercial...
    Starbucks new holiday flavor of bottled frappacino--Dark Chocolate and Peppermint--Oh......My.....Goodness....buy it...hoard it....keep it from me for I shall use unlawful weapons to take it from you....

    1 comment:

    Italo said...

    Really funny stuff!!

    Rules of calling Customer Service!

    • 1. Before you call any 800 number--Please put your children, animals & significant others in a closet and lock the door til you're done. We really don't appreciate hearing your children screaming in our ears. We don't, in any way, find their antics nearly as priceless as you do.
    • 2. Read your bill before you start bitching and whining about it. Read the front and back of all pages. Read it every single month. No company ever just puts charges on your bill just for thrills or to see how long it will take you to notice. All price increases need to be okayed by the FCC or PUC before they take effect and you are given at least 30 days notice.
    • 3. It doesn't matter how long you've gone to school or whether you are a doctor,lawyer or Indian chief, I still know more about your service than you do. I know more about the technology than you do and I've got all day to listen to you as you lose your braincells. (And just so you know, whenver it gets very quiet, you are on mute as we *laaaaauuugghh*, tell our neighbors how stupid you are and wait for you to just....shut up)
    • 4. Just about anything a "supervisor" can do, we can do...we just don't want to give it to you. Why should we? Sometimes it just feels better to piss you off.
    • 5. Anyone over 60 must take a test before they are allowed to get any sort of electronics. If you can't operate it, you can't have it.
    • 6. Please stop asking us how we are ..we really don't care how you are and you make us politely ask you after you ask us. Just start talking and whining about the problem so that we don't have to "mute" you (see previous posts about what happens when you are muted)
    • 7. Do *not* eat or chew gum while talking to us. I can understand if you were catching up on lunch while on hold and I'm willing to give a little leeway but you better apologize for it and stop. Do you know how many times I've wanted to tell people that I can't understand them with their mouth full? And to ask them if their mother ever told them that it was just plain rude! I don't chew gum while I'm talking to you...do you consider yourself better than me? You think you are better than *me*?

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    About Me

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    Your dreams, Second Life, United States
    I'm the quiet girl who spends her lunch reading. The one that people say "was always smiling and sweet" when the newscaster interviews them after "the attack"--My lifestatement--A writer writes, always.

    Doggie Heaven....

    Rest in Peace-- my darling Scarlett...17 years together ...from the animal shelter to the end you were one of the sweetest things in my life...8/12/08